It's With a Heavy Heart ...

I share that our joy was short lived when I was diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage, but was told it's inevitable. I began spotting on Saturday. I thought it was normal and trusted my body that it was doing what it needed to be doing. Then I awoke this morning to alot of blood and knew something wasn't right. I couldn't wait until May 3rd  to go to my first prenatal checkup, so I drove to the local hospital Urgent Care/ER to get seen. (Since doctor office was closed)

I learned my cervix is closed after a pelvic exam, but I was losing a moderate amount of blood, like a regular period. I was not and am not currently experiencing any cramps. I was given my blood test results and everything looks normal but my hcg level is only 11 and urine test negative. I ended up calling DH to come be with me as I knew things were not sounding good and all I could possibly think that could make me feel better would to be wrapped in his arms. Boy am I glad he come quickly, because he was there when the doctor broke the "better luck next time news" and gave his condolences and left us to take in the news that we suffered an early miscarriage.

 DH and I hugged and cried just like when we first learned of you Baby. Whether you were 6 weeks or 36 weeks you were still our baby, you were conceived out of pure love, and you were so loved and wanted since before you even were. I have faith that God has a plan for everyone and hope for our next pregnancy to turn out as healthy as can be. DH is my absolute rock yet says the same about me somehow. Our love will always help us through the difficult times. As well as our amazing, loving supportive family. And above all our faith in Gods plan for us.

I plan on continuing my prenatal vitamins and still going to see doctor to make sure we get the go ahead to keep trying. God grant me the serenity.

RIP SBA

Big Fat Negative

Still negative. I think I am concentrating too much on wanting this to happen that I'm not following my own advice of just letting things happen. I was a little sad, but realize it doesn't always happen on the first try. Next time I comment on the topic I hope it is to share my "BFP" or Big Fat Positive with you.

No Period, No Positive, No Problem?

So I have not gotten my period yet this month, but continue to test negative on the hpt's I've taken. After some research I thought maybe I should go get a blood test done, but the nurse I spoke with over the phone sort of talked me out of coming in. She said hpts are very accurate and I would be around 7 weeks if I were, but from what I read hpts can be false negatives if your hcg hormone levels are low in the first trimester. I decided to wait a couple more weeks and just monitor myself and will go in if anything changes. I've never had regular periods unless I was on bc, but then I had Mirena put in. I got Mirena removed in Dec and Jan 3-10 I had my period. Everything seemed 10-2 to go ahead and just have fun trying. So once my period stopped it was on like Donkey Kong. DH and I have always had an active love life so I just wanted to leave it up to God and whenever he decided was the right time to bless us with our lil bean. I remember getting horrible cramps on MLK Jr day on Jan 18 (implantation?) then nothing since. Cramps I attribute to PMS and gas gurgles I think are just from my diet. I'm a Wisconsin cheesehead and love my milk and cheese. I eat what I want in moderation and am pushing myself to exercise but winter makes it hard for me.

If it's true that I am about 7 weeks right now that would put my due date around October 8th, 2012 ... which is also our one year anniversary! What a wonderful gift that would be :) Any other expectant mommies out there around same time as me?

I've experienced the following symptoms but sort of tell myself it's in my head, or is it?

1.Cramping, Bloating, Gas (PMS, diet)

2.Hungry! (I love food)

3.Seems like I have more belly pooch (result of #2)

4.Dry Skin & Hair (Wisconsin winter?)

5.Butteflies(like anxiety but just recently got when just relaxing and felt like nothing I've felt)

6.Hot Flashes

7.Night sweats

8. Fatigue (uffdah I'm tired!Maybe its just winter)

Well let's keep our fingers crossed! Only time will tell...or a blood test...but time will suffice for now.